On my resources page, I include Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish’s, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. This book has been in print for 30 years and is a classic in fostering a more stress free relationship with your children.
The authors suggest adults tend to be logical, to moralize, and to give advice when children react strongly to something. This, the authors claim, denies how the child is feeling and, unfortunately, makes them try harder to get you to understand, to listen. Simply listening and then repeating back what they are feeling is sometimes all it takes.
There is, of course, much more to their methods, and it’s interesting to compare their ideas to the ones I have used in the past that haven’t been so successful!
If you have tried other methods to get kids to do chores, brush their teeth, or practice the violin, and continue to be frustrated, give How to Talk a try!